Frustration and Surrender - Can They Live Together?

An open letter to Doug and a note to my newsletter framily

Dear Doug,

Yesterday I went home.

It’s not where I can live any more, but it’s home.

Every long calm breath, every sound, every particle of sunshine that warmed my face as I looked to the horizon, every breeze that swirled and circled me with its presence of welcome and belonging… home.

The open spaces and memorable vistas bring me peace.

The valley’s and mountains and ancient trees bring me strength.

Bird flight and song add movement and charm.

It’s always there - weathering the changes of the seasons and swaying with the forces of nature.

The sense of safety and strength is one of constant embrace.

Yet, some things aren’t really quite the same, like a river that slightly changes course over time due to force of flooding and elements beyond its control.

It still flows, just in different drifts.

It’s still part of the landscape yet meanders a slightly different course.

The terrain is always it’s home yet taken in different directions, sometimes touching for a moment the edge of a path once travelled acknowledging the part in its past but knowing it’s not the direction of its future flow.

I feel like that river when I’m there. I see the paths once travelled. I walk alongside them. I gently touch them.

I sense the constant connection beneath my flow… but it’s not the direction of my future.

Calm, peace, strength and melancholy reflection that makes me smile and feel sad will always be found there.

It’s not where I can live any more but will always be home in my heart, my every breath… for it’s where I found love, it’s where I found family, it’s where I found belonging, it’s where I found you.

And it’s now where you rest…

Home

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Hello my dear newsletter friends and family,

These last few weeks have been a trial. There have been tears and realisations since we last chatted. Frustration has been equally matched by surrender.

Whenever I make the decision to step into myself and honour my creative side and writing desires with more energy and dedication the universe presents speed bumps and roadblocks that seem insurmountable.

It’s like it’s telling me to turn around and look at where I am right now and the circumstances and head space in which I live and need to honour.

I have needed to put some of my desires down for a little while and take stock to embrace the frustration of the surrender as a soft place to fall and not resent the awareness of its gifts.

Right now, in this season of my life, I need to sit with my desires beside the path of where I’ve been and where I’m yet to go… and then embrace walking beside them, not chase them.

I feel like I’ve landed in the appropriate place - for now - sitting along side my desires on a park bench in a landscape of possibility and paths to explore when the weather of my seasons allow.

I’d love to be here each Sunday to have a cuppa with you but some Sunday’s that’s just not possible. So all I can ask of you is to watch your inbox and when you see I’m on your doorstep I hope you pop the kettle on and invite me in for a chat.

When we are not sharing a cuppa here I am always contactable through my social media private messages and of course by hitting reply to these emails or leaving a comment here on the post.

And one last request… if we all close our eyes and wish really, really hard with the purest of intentions maybe this endless Winter in Victoria will rack off and let the Spring sunshine warm all of our hearts and souls and cold bones.

Until next time (scroll to the end for some bonus links).

All my love,

Sandra xo

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Thank you so, so much to all of you who shouted me a cup of tea (or five - lovely surprise) after receiving my last letter. Your contribution to my tea habit is gratefully received and means the world to me. Xx

If you’ve enjoyed today’s reflections please consider topping up the tea leaf jar by hitting the button below. Love Xx

PPS. I have another publication over at Let’s Chat Life and Styling where I share my love of dreamy bedrooms and creating tranquil spaces for you to escape to any time of the day, not just when the day is done. I’d love for you to join the crew for all the Lorraine Lea Linen gorgeousness (yes, that’s a word in my world) and perhaps bag yourself a bargain. Click the bedroom pic to subscribe.

And a sneaky direct shopping link for your perusal here.

PPPS. (Last one I promise) A big shout out to my friend and mentor Sonia Bavistock for helping me find clarity around walking with my desires as apposed to chasing them. Sonia is a beautiful soul with many amazing, insightful gifts to offer the world. You can follow her here on Instagram and here.

With lots of love xo